U hav heard abt it, but i don't think many wud hav xperienced it. Old grandmother stories talk abt the torture, the pain, the life altering trauma and its consequences after a visit to THE DENTIST!!! 2 keep it short, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
my trip to drillsville came as a direct result one too many complaints 2 mom abt discomfort in my lower jaw. What were intended as ruses 2 keep her from driving me 2 study ended up as a pretty good xplanation of the proverb 'from the fryin pan into the frikkin FIRE'. needless to say, calls were made, appointments were fixed n' my soul was sold 2 the devil. ever the irrepressible i tried my best to wriggle out of the dastardly situation by professing my amazement at the remarkable change in fortune that the toothache had mysteriously disappeared. but when fate's got u'r name first on hotlist to hell there's pretty much nothin u can do abt it. i was gagged and taken in the trunk of the car all the way to ****** Dental Centre! (name withheld for fear of life). The white lab coat clothed demons at ****** welcomed me inside with pleasant smiles. one look at their equipments n' suddenly my tongue was fighting with a furiosouly beating heart for space in my mouth. speed was of the essence. I had noticed while outside that a load of bricks was stacked up just below the window of the centre. Although it was a good 20 foot drop to ground i figured the bricks would break my fall (not literally). But just then, to my utter consternation, one of the demons ordered its slave creature 2 shut the windows. 'to prevent insects from flying in' it said, but i knew the truth. It was really meant to prevent this little bug from flying out *gasp* As i was made to lie down on an ultra soft flexible couch thingy, i feverently prayed for a miracle to save me from my untimely doom. I opened my mouth and the last thing i remember was the blood curdling scream...
I woke up some time later hoping to see Gandhiji, Nehru and the cute little pet kitten which i accidentally flushed down the toilet last week; but wonder of wonders i was sitting in the waiting room of ****** Dental Centre with an ice pack taped to one side of my face. Upon my awakening joyous shouts rent the air. i started waving the cheers down, playing down the great escape as merely a walk in the park for me. It was only later that i realised that the shouts were really for the demon who struggled to its feet beside me. upon seeing the inside of my buccal cavity it had become so filled with terror that it screamed and passed out. Its demoness partner came up n' somehow managed to twist and pound my teeth back into shape. for the trouble it took them, i was given a broken molar as a parting gift. All said and done, my parents praised me for the courage i showed in not letting out a single squeak (Little do they know that i zonked out before i cud even think abt screaming) But like all pretty smiles, their admirations too came to an end, when they received a bill with more digits than i can count. N my jaw still hurts..
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Friday, May 09, 2008
What is CMC?
Vanakkam (thats Tamil for Hi). In case u noticed the change in language, its because of the shift in the site of my infestation. I and my roach buddies packed our bags and egg cocoons, shifting location 2 the wonderful city of Vellore. make that the wonderful speck on the map of india, vellore. the reason for doing so being my unforseen good fortune which got me a seat in CMC, Vellore. well, actually it was two suitcases full of green stuff 2 each of my interviewers, but who doesn't do that nowadays. Not long ago kids used 2 give their teacher an apple to make them happy. now they give a ticket for a 7-day all expenses paid trip to Bali. No wonder Goerge Bush complains about the 'improved indian standard of living'. coming back to the topic of discussion, what exactly is CMC? is it just another med skool where they teach u 2 cut up bodies and root around inside for nerves and arteries? Hell No! Its the SECOND BEST MEDICAL COLLEGE IN INDIA, where they teach u 2 cut up bodies and root around inside for nerves and arteries.. hmmm, thats not a lot u say. well, my dear jobless reader, let me tell u this. nowhere else in India r u gonna find a college with such a great geographical representation as CMC. In my class of 60, we have Mals, Tams, Goltis, Kannadigars, Maharashtrians, Mumbaikars, Bhopalese, Oriyans, Biharis, Chinkys, Bongs, Bhais of North India, pple from Dhoni-land and even a mandarin speaking, chinese malaysian. Not to mention the Tamals, Malmils and other similar hybrids. what national integration! Gandhiji must be proud.
CMC, Vellore is like a town inside a town. its world is totally different to chaotic life outside its walls. People come there 2 study, stay back to treat (and heal), and end up spending their entire lives as CMC-ites. there r even third generation students, whose grandparents and parents studied there. no wonder its like a community of its own, our only contact with the outside world being the anthropologists who come 2 observe our primitive culture and habits :) Life in CMC is too rich and varied 2 b compressed into a few lines and i'm not going 2 attempt 2 do so. Noone can change CMC, it changes us. whoever comes there 2 study or 2 work, changes; silently, sub-consciously. its true for me too. i've actually written two sentences without talking nonsense! The answer to the question of what is CMC is not easy, it can't be explained, only experienced. maybe thru my ramblings you'll b able 2 get a picture abt the place. if u can't, don't worry, u can always come and find out for u'rself. we'll b waiting with open arms.. and buckets of water. Happy Ducking! :D
CMC, Vellore is like a town inside a town. its world is totally different to chaotic life outside its walls. People come there 2 study, stay back to treat (and heal), and end up spending their entire lives as CMC-ites. there r even third generation students, whose grandparents and parents studied there. no wonder its like a community of its own, our only contact with the outside world being the anthropologists who come 2 observe our primitive culture and habits :) Life in CMC is too rich and varied 2 b compressed into a few lines and i'm not going 2 attempt 2 do so. Noone can change CMC, it changes us. whoever comes there 2 study or 2 work, changes; silently, sub-consciously. its true for me too. i've actually written two sentences without talking nonsense! The answer to the question of what is CMC is not easy, it can't be explained, only experienced. maybe thru my ramblings you'll b able 2 get a picture abt the place. if u can't, don't worry, u can always come and find out for u'rself. we'll b waiting with open arms.. and buckets of water. Happy Ducking! :D
Oh Happy Day!
hey, long time no see.. why haven't u visited my blog for so long. so what if i didn't update it for so many months? u cud hav atleast come and checked!! well, i forgive u. just keep coming bac once in a while and remind 2 put up more boring posts :)
Anyway, i've got good news (good for me atleast). I just got a new laptop. new as in after three years of servicing done by my bro to see if it works fine. he got a new one so he gave this to dad. dad's getting a new one so he's given this to me. so i guess u see what position i occupy in my family food chain. thats right, i give company to the bacteria, worms and vegetation! still, a laptop is a laptop and i'm not complaining (maybe a little, but thats expected). This one's an IBM Thinkpad, and in good working condition. its got some cool features. if u look thru the side where the CD drive used to be, u can see light from the other side. the ventilation rocks! my bro sed that this open set-up reduces the load on the laptop's cooling system. he designed it himself when he er.. purposefully let it fall from his table. I'm lucky that my bro is such a gadget genius. All the same, now i have a little more freedom. since i have a lappy now, i suppose i can blog more often. so after the posts of June 17, 2006 and June 17, 2007 i am updating the blog again with much fanfare. lets hope that the laptop stays together for atleast a few more posts. till u visit again, bye.
Anyway, i've got good news (good for me atleast). I just got a new laptop. new as in after three years of servicing done by my bro to see if it works fine. he got a new one so he gave this to dad. dad's getting a new one so he's given this to me. so i guess u see what position i occupy in my family food chain. thats right, i give company to the bacteria, worms and vegetation! still, a laptop is a laptop and i'm not complaining (maybe a little, but thats expected). This one's an IBM Thinkpad, and in good working condition. its got some cool features. if u look thru the side where the CD drive used to be, u can see light from the other side. the ventilation rocks! my bro sed that this open set-up reduces the load on the laptop's cooling system. he designed it himself when he er.. purposefully let it fall from his table. I'm lucky that my bro is such a gadget genius. All the same, now i have a little more freedom. since i have a lappy now, i suppose i can blog more often. so after the posts of June 17, 2006 and June 17, 2007 i am updating the blog again with much fanfare. lets hope that the laptop stays together for atleast a few more posts. till u visit again, bye.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
People of the world - Part 1
I decided 2 start a nu section in this blog. one abt the pple of the world. since i'm tryin 2 find out so much abt the world, i think i'll share the findings with the general public. so once in a while i'll b posting abt sum set of pple, from a country or from sum community. and our first lucky bunch is The Italians.
This interesting grp of pple r considered 2 b the founders of one of the greatest civilisations in history, the 'Serie A'(hehe gotcha. u thot i'd start banterin abt Rome, didn't u). anyways, our good italians luv nothing more than their favourite game of futball, and Serie A is a place like no other. nowhere else do u find grown up men runnin around in multi-coloured shorts tryin 2 kick a piece of bloated leather into a fishing net. well, not with as much fervour as the italians. they walk, run, kick, spit and elbow their way past everybody, b it a blasted opposing player, unsuspecting referee or even an unlucky teammate. the reason why the italians r so famous (and numerous), is their skill with the balls. Another favourite pastime of our italians is to pick up girls. wht else do u do when u've got Monica Belluccis striding past u on every corner of the street. Research has shown that there r 2 types of pple in Italy - The beautiful pple, and the foreign tourists. u gotta admit, them italians know how 2 look gud. (pls discount the ones hu end up with twisted jaws after a game of frndly footbal). walk into any shop and u'll c more hunks per square inch than anywhere else on earth(except maybe Loyola skool). That's y Italy is called the Land of the Hollywood Heroes. Marlon Brando, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Scooby Doo... the list is endless. (er... Great Danes r supposed 2 b from Italy right?)
Our findings suggest that more italians r engaged in procreational activities than in politics. no wonder their government sucks. their former Prime Minister is also the owner of their top futball club! (wht better place 2 canvas for voters than at a jam-packed futball stadium). Italians LOVE their food. we gotta hand it 2 these guys, they invented the Pizza AND the Lasagna. gastronomical geniuses of the world. Their food is so simple that any italian dish can b made very easily, with 1 bottle of Maggi Tomato Ketchup. simply 'Bellismo'. Italy is also the birthplace of the greatest bizarre porn artist of all time, Picasso. wht's so gr8 abt his cubism anyway? my pet 1 legged mongoose can paint better than him!!! and did i forget Mr. Da Vinci? the only homosexual ever 2 think that pink and yellow is not a gud dress colour combination! all the same, the Italians r a fun lot. they make the World a fun place 2 live in. i jus wish those mafia guys from Cosa Nostra don't find out that i accidentally touched one of their limozines. i don wanna meet Mahatma Gandhi in the heavens so soon.
We hav come 2 the end of our story abt the wonderful Italians. if u happen 2 know any more interesting details, pls keep it 2 u'rself. i've had enuf. And so, as the Italians often say 'Se verniciate un colore rosso di gioco del calcio, assomiglia ad una mela' which translates to 'If you paint a football red, it looks like an apple'. er... i forgot, Italians r dumb.
This interesting grp of pple r considered 2 b the founders of one of the greatest civilisations in history, the 'Serie A'(hehe gotcha. u thot i'd start banterin abt Rome, didn't u). anyways, our good italians luv nothing more than their favourite game of futball, and Serie A is a place like no other. nowhere else do u find grown up men runnin around in multi-coloured shorts tryin 2 kick a piece of bloated leather into a fishing net. well, not with as much fervour as the italians. they walk, run, kick, spit and elbow their way past everybody, b it a blasted opposing player, unsuspecting referee or even an unlucky teammate. the reason why the italians r so famous (and numerous), is their skill with the balls. Another favourite pastime of our italians is to pick up girls. wht else do u do when u've got Monica Belluccis striding past u on every corner of the street. Research has shown that there r 2 types of pple in Italy - The beautiful pple, and the foreign tourists. u gotta admit, them italians know how 2 look gud. (pls discount the ones hu end up with twisted jaws after a game of frndly footbal). walk into any shop and u'll c more hunks per square inch than anywhere else on earth(except maybe Loyola skool). That's y Italy is called the Land of the Hollywood Heroes. Marlon Brando, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Scooby Doo... the list is endless. (er... Great Danes r supposed 2 b from Italy right?)
Our findings suggest that more italians r engaged in procreational activities than in politics. no wonder their government sucks. their former Prime Minister is also the owner of their top futball club! (wht better place 2 canvas for voters than at a jam-packed futball stadium). Italians LOVE their food. we gotta hand it 2 these guys, they invented the Pizza AND the Lasagna. gastronomical geniuses of the world. Their food is so simple that any italian dish can b made very easily, with 1 bottle of Maggi Tomato Ketchup. simply 'Bellismo'. Italy is also the birthplace of the greatest bizarre porn artist of all time, Picasso. wht's so gr8 abt his cubism anyway? my pet 1 legged mongoose can paint better than him!!! and did i forget Mr. Da Vinci? the only homosexual ever 2 think that pink and yellow is not a gud dress colour combination! all the same, the Italians r a fun lot. they make the World a fun place 2 live in. i jus wish those mafia guys from Cosa Nostra don't find out that i accidentally touched one of their limozines. i don wanna meet Mahatma Gandhi in the heavens so soon.
We hav come 2 the end of our story abt the wonderful Italians. if u happen 2 know any more interesting details, pls keep it 2 u'rself. i've had enuf. And so, as the Italians often say 'Se verniciate un colore rosso di gioco del calcio, assomiglia ad una mela' which translates to 'If you paint a football red, it looks like an apple'. er... i forgot, Italians r dumb.
No apologies
Dear faithful commenteers, (well there were only 2 of u, but i luv u all anyway)
I sincerely wish 2 say that i hav no apologies or regrets whatsoever for not puttin up a post for the past one year, bcos the reasons r not too far 2 seek. i was in a self enforced exile. no contact with the cyber civilization for the past 12 months. and yea... i HAVE survived. let me also state that it was NOT my dead body that Lord Bush and his cohorts put forth as Osa Bin's carcass. as a certain Mr. Twain sed, 'The reports of my death r highly exaggerated'. the previously mentioned evil seniors were bcoming too much, so i hit upon the idea of a self-induced coma. 2 strips of sleeping pills, a plate of puris from the Railway station canteen and a mohanlal film did the trick, and 'u'rs truly' went beddy bye for a year. i hav awoken now. bac with a vengeance i shud say. will dispose of all hu stand in my path... as soon as i figure out how 2 tie my shoelaces. the world has changed since the last time i crawled on it. India's bcome richer, the criket teams has hit newer lows, but worst of all, i think i'll b stuck in another 'first year at college' (i guess the coma wasn't that gr8 an idea after all). well, one thing's the same tho. i still am a virgin in worldly matters. my education starts again. O 33 thousand Hindu Gods, help this poor soul. teach me how 2 tie my shoelaces. and plsss, no more seniors... So, as Timone the meerkat sez in the Lion King game, 'It starts'..... again.
I sincerely wish 2 say that i hav no apologies or regrets whatsoever for not puttin up a post for the past one year, bcos the reasons r not too far 2 seek. i was in a self enforced exile. no contact with the cyber civilization for the past 12 months. and yea... i HAVE survived. let me also state that it was NOT my dead body that Lord Bush and his cohorts put forth as Osa Bin's carcass. as a certain Mr. Twain sed, 'The reports of my death r highly exaggerated'. the previously mentioned evil seniors were bcoming too much, so i hit upon the idea of a self-induced coma. 2 strips of sleeping pills, a plate of puris from the Railway station canteen and a mohanlal film did the trick, and 'u'rs truly' went beddy bye for a year. i hav awoken now. bac with a vengeance i shud say. will dispose of all hu stand in my path... as soon as i figure out how 2 tie my shoelaces. the world has changed since the last time i crawled on it. India's bcome richer, the criket teams has hit newer lows, but worst of all, i think i'll b stuck in another 'first year at college' (i guess the coma wasn't that gr8 an idea after all). well, one thing's the same tho. i still am a virgin in worldly matters. my education starts again. O 33 thousand Hindu Gods, help this poor soul. teach me how 2 tie my shoelaces. and plsss, no more seniors... So, as Timone the meerkat sez in the Lion King game, 'It starts'..... again.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
W O M A N
Q : Y does WOMAN cause so much pain in the Heart of MAN?
A : Bcos WOMAN was created from a piece of rib of a certain 'ancient MAN'.
For years I had shielded myself from my fate. Studying for 13 years in a BOYS ONLY skool gave me a false sense of security abt the world. Little did I know that i was only postponing the inevitable, my first face to evil face meeting with WOMAN. And boy did I make an ass of myself. The first five minutes went well with me moving from a distance of 10 metres to 9 and a half metres from WOMAN. Then tragedy struck. WOMAN started walking towards me like a Warewolf stalking its prey. WOMAN came upto me and bloodcurdlingly said 'Hello'. I stifled the urge 2 scream for help, not wanting 2 alert the others members of the pack of WOMEN. Then I opened my mouth and started spluttering 2 letter words. Fortunately for me 'hi' consists of 2 letters. I still couldn't figure out why WOMAN had singled me out from my herd. I always thot there was safety in numbers. Maybe WOMAN had spotted the weakest and had come 2 play with its prey bfore dismembering it. Anyway, to make a long story short, WOMAN asked for the time, I showed my mickey mouse watch (while still spluttering out 'hi's), fainted, and fell 2 the ground. Nxt thing I remember is I'm in a hospital with tubes coming out of me. I may b in a near-coma state, BUT I'M STILL ALIVE!!! MAN triumphs over WOMAN.
A : Bcos WOMAN was created from a piece of rib of a certain 'ancient MAN'.
For years I had shielded myself from my fate. Studying for 13 years in a BOYS ONLY skool gave me a false sense of security abt the world. Little did I know that i was only postponing the inevitable, my first face to evil face meeting with WOMAN. And boy did I make an ass of myself. The first five minutes went well with me moving from a distance of 10 metres to 9 and a half metres from WOMAN. Then tragedy struck. WOMAN started walking towards me like a Warewolf stalking its prey. WOMAN came upto me and bloodcurdlingly said 'Hello'. I stifled the urge 2 scream for help, not wanting 2 alert the others members of the pack of WOMEN. Then I opened my mouth and started spluttering 2 letter words. Fortunately for me 'hi' consists of 2 letters. I still couldn't figure out why WOMAN had singled me out from my herd. I always thot there was safety in numbers. Maybe WOMAN had spotted the weakest and had come 2 play with its prey bfore dismembering it. Anyway, to make a long story short, WOMAN asked for the time, I showed my mickey mouse watch (while still spluttering out 'hi's), fainted, and fell 2 the ground. Nxt thing I remember is I'm in a hospital with tubes coming out of me. I may b in a near-coma state, BUT I'M STILL ALIVE!!! MAN triumphs over WOMAN.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Me against the World : Round 1
I'm beat up. I spent the last few weeks trying 2 make a name for myself and all I did was getting beat up. Damn those seniors!!! its like once u enter the college u'r at their mercy? a tiny bug waiting 2 b squashed underneath their stinkin boots. bhaaa. My first 15 minutes in their presence was spent in learning how 2 swim on a tarred road, licking the dirt off the above mentioned stinkin boots and hopping around on 1 leg shouting 'Seniors r my only God'. On the whole I think I got a better deal than some of my dhoti clad 'pattar' classmates. The World is fine except when u hav 2 undress in public for the benefit of Arts students who supposedly don't have human models.
And bfore I sign off I'll leave with my Thot of the Day, hell, the Thot of the Whole nxt Year; 'Seniors r my only God!'
P.S. Shoe Polish tastes gud
And bfore I sign off I'll leave with my Thot of the Day, hell, the Thot of the Whole nxt Year; 'Seniors r my only God!'
P.S. Shoe Polish tastes gud
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
The Journey Begins
Ya rite, I hear a lot abt the jungle out there but haven't got a chance to see it yet. In about two weeks time I might. All I have with me is my head (which doesn't count for much), and a stripling, close to 6 foot, skeletal frame. Then I got mama's advice:
1. Don't talk to strangers
2. Take a bath everyday
3. Girls in mini-skirts are evil
No way I'm gonna be a dork with this advice. As part of my first steps I have started this blog. It will not chronicle my pathetically boring life. It will not tell you what I'm eating or wearing. It will not tell you how I will become a superhero who rises inspite of the odds stacked up high against him. It will tell you what the title says, how I don't have a clue about what the Big Fat World is gonna b like. Oh yeah, this is gonna b fun...
1. Don't talk to strangers
2. Take a bath everyday
3. Girls in mini-skirts are evil
No way I'm gonna be a dork with this advice. As part of my first steps I have started this blog. It will not chronicle my pathetically boring life. It will not tell you what I'm eating or wearing. It will not tell you how I will become a superhero who rises inspite of the odds stacked up high against him. It will tell you what the title says, how I don't have a clue about what the Big Fat World is gonna b like. Oh yeah, this is gonna b fun...
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