Sunday, June 17, 2007

People of the world - Part 1

I decided 2 start a nu section in this blog. one abt the pple of the world. since i'm tryin 2 find out so much abt the world, i think i'll share the findings with the general public. so once in a while i'll b posting abt sum set of pple, from a country or from sum community. and our first lucky bunch is The Italians.

This interesting grp of pple r considered 2 b the founders of one of the greatest civilisations in history, the 'Serie A'(hehe gotcha. u thot i'd start banterin abt Rome, didn't u). anyways, our good italians luv nothing more than their favourite game of futball, and Serie A is a place like no other. nowhere else do u find grown up men runnin around in multi-coloured shorts tryin 2 kick a piece of bloated leather into a fishing net. well, not with as much fervour as the italians. they walk, run, kick, spit and elbow their way past everybody, b it a blasted opposing player, unsuspecting referee or even an unlucky teammate. the reason why the italians r so famous (and numerous), is their skill with the balls. Another favourite pastime of our italians is to pick up girls. wht else do u do when u've got Monica Belluccis striding past u on every corner of the street. Research has shown that there r 2 types of pple in Italy - The beautiful pple, and the foreign tourists. u gotta admit, them italians know how 2 look gud. (pls discount the ones hu end up with twisted jaws after a game of frndly footbal). walk into any shop and u'll c more hunks per square inch than anywhere else on earth(except maybe Loyola skool). That's y Italy is called the Land of the Hollywood Heroes. Marlon Brando, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Scooby Doo... the list is endless. (er... Great Danes r supposed 2 b from Italy right?)
Our findings suggest that more italians r engaged in procreational activities than in politics. no wonder their government sucks. their former Prime Minister is also the owner of their top futball club! (wht better place 2 canvas for voters than at a jam-packed futball stadium). Italians LOVE their food. we gotta hand it 2 these guys, they invented the Pizza AND the Lasagna. gastronomical geniuses of the world. Their food is so simple that any italian dish can b made very easily, with 1 bottle of Maggi Tomato Ketchup. simply 'Bellismo'. Italy is also the birthplace of the greatest bizarre porn artist of all time, Picasso. wht's so gr8 abt his cubism anyway? my pet 1 legged mongoose can paint better than him!!! and did i forget Mr. Da Vinci? the only homosexual ever 2 think that pink and yellow is not a gud dress colour combination! all the same, the Italians r a fun lot. they make the World a fun place 2 live in. i jus wish those mafia guys from Cosa Nostra don't find out that i accidentally touched one of their limozines. i don wanna meet Mahatma Gandhi in the heavens so soon.

We hav come 2 the end of our story abt the wonderful Italians. if u happen 2 know any more interesting details, pls keep it 2 u'rself. i've had enuf. And so, as the Italians often say 'Se verniciate un colore rosso di gioco del calcio, assomiglia ad una mela' which translates to 'If you paint a football red, it looks like an apple'. er... i forgot, Italians r dumb.

No apologies

Dear faithful commenteers, (well there were only 2 of u, but i luv u all anyway)

I sincerely wish 2 say that i hav no apologies or regrets whatsoever for not puttin up a post for the past one year, bcos the reasons r not too far 2 seek. i was in a self enforced exile. no contact with the cyber civilization for the past 12 months. and yea... i HAVE survived. let me also state that it was NOT my dead body that Lord Bush and his cohorts put forth as Osa Bin's carcass. as a certain Mr. Twain sed, 'The reports of my death r highly exaggerated'. the previously mentioned evil seniors were bcoming too much, so i hit upon the idea of a self-induced coma. 2 strips of sleeping pills, a plate of puris from the Railway station canteen and a mohanlal film did the trick, and 'u'rs truly' went beddy bye for a year. i hav awoken now. bac with a vengeance i shud say. will dispose of all hu stand in my path... as soon as i figure out how 2 tie my shoelaces. the world has changed since the last time i crawled on it. India's bcome richer, the criket teams has hit newer lows, but worst of all, i think i'll b stuck in another 'first year at college' (i guess the coma wasn't that gr8 an idea after all). well, one thing's the same tho. i still am a virgin in worldly matters. my education starts again. O 33 thousand Hindu Gods, help this poor soul. teach me how 2 tie my shoelaces. and plsss, no more seniors... So, as Timone the meerkat sez in the Lion King game, 'It starts'..... again.