W O M A N

Q : Y does WOMAN cause so much pain in the Heart of MAN?
A : Bcos WOMAN was created from a piece of rib of a certain 'ancient MAN'.

For years I had shielded myself from my fate. Studying for 13 years in a BOYS ONLY skool gave me a false sense of security abt the world. Little did I know that i was only postponing the inevitable, my first face to evil face meeting with WOMAN. And boy did I make an ass of myself. The first five minutes went well with me moving from a distance of 10 metres to 9 and a half metres from WOMAN. Then tragedy struck. WOMAN started walking towards me like a Warewolf stalking its prey. WOMAN came upto me and bloodcurdlingly said 'Hello'. I stifled the urge 2 scream for help, not wanting 2 alert the others members of the pack of WOMEN. Then I opened my mouth and started spluttering 2 letter words. Fortunately for me 'hi' consists of 2 letters. I still couldn't figure out why WOMAN had singled me out from my herd. I always thot there was safety in numbers. Maybe WOMAN had spotted the weakest and had come 2 play with its prey bfore dismembering it. Anyway, to make a long story short, WOMAN asked for the time, I showed my mickey mouse watch (while still spluttering out 'hi's), fainted, and fell 2 the ground. Nxt thing I remember is I'm in a hospital with tubes coming out of me. I may b in a near-coma state, BUT I'M STILL ALIVE!!! MAN triumphs over WOMAN.

Me against the World : Round 1

I'm beat up. I spent the last few weeks trying 2 make a name for myself and all I did was getting beat up. Damn those seniors!!! its like once u enter the college u'r at their mercy? a tiny bug waiting 2 b squashed underneath their stinkin boots. bhaaa. My first 15 minutes in their presence was spent in learning how 2 swim on a tarred road, licking the dirt off the above mentioned stinkin boots and hopping around on 1 leg shouting 'Seniors r my only God'. On the whole I think I got a better deal than some of my dhoti clad 'pattar' classmates. The World is fine except when u hav 2 undress in public for the benefit of Arts students who supposedly don't have human models.

And bfore I sign off I'll leave with my Thot of the Day, hell, the Thot of the Whole nxt Year; 'Seniors r my only God!'

P.S. Shoe Polish tastes gud

The Journey Begins

Ya rite, I hear a lot abt the jungle out there but haven't got a chance to see it yet. In about two weeks time I might. All I have with me is my head (which doesn't count for much), and a stripling, close to 6 foot, skeletal frame. Then I got mama's advice:

1. Don't talk to strangers
2. Take a bath everyday
3. Girls in mini-skirts are evil

No way I'm gonna be a dork with this advice. As part of my first steps I have started this blog. It will not chronicle my pathetically boring life. It will not tell you what I'm eating or wearing. It will not tell you how I will become a superhero who rises inspite of the odds stacked up high against him. It will tell you what the title says, how I don't have a clue about what the Big Fat World is gonna b like. Oh yeah, this is gonna b fun...